What can I about Kyurinagas Revenge? It’s the follow-up story to Yasai Ninja, in which two vegetable ninja warriors set out on an adventure to save feudal Japan from the evil Shogun Kyurinaga. It has all the make-up of a great 90’s Saturday morning cartoon. Sadly that silliness and quirkiness is just about the only thing has going for it.
For a game in which you play two ninja vegetables, the onion Samurai Kaoru Tamanegi and the fighter Broccoli Joe, in feudal Japan I was expecting some kind of nonsensical side scrolling platforming adventure akin to Kung-Fu or Ninja Gaiden on the NES. Sadly I was mistaken. So all jokes aside I just didn’t enjoy my time with this game at all. I’ve tried going back to it multiple times only to consistently be frustrated by its design, its control, and how utterly boring it is. I really wanted to give this game a fighting chance. However its terrible unforgiving nature (you get touched and you die), its total lack of combat in any level the other than quick time combat sequence levels, and its bland difficult platforming due to input lag and game speed ultimately left me frustrated and uninspired.
There is virtually no actual combat in the side scrolling levels aside from occasionally throwing kunai or dropping bombs near the enemies, who are really more of just environmental obstacles than actual enemies. Then there are the runner levels that require precision platforming and timing while racing from certain death. When required precision meets lag you’re going to have a bad time. You would think that controlling two ninjas would be all kicking ass and taking names, but you do nothing of the sort. All of the combat is left to levels that are reduced to one long quick time sequence in which you switch from one character to another and press the corresponding button in time to execute an attack on the incoming foes. Talk about boring. While some of the animations are cool and the speed and difficulty increases with each wave it’s just not satisfying at all. Not to mention the input lag makes later combat levels extremely frustrating due to the nature of you not being able to make any mistakes. Then there are the boss battles. Those are boiled down to having to figure out which attack is coming, which direction its coming from, dodging it then finding which environmental thing actually inflicts damage. Oh and don’t get touched at any point in these long drawn out battles or you die and go back to the beginning. The input lag and odd game speed rear their ugly head here as well. The only saving grace is that one of the boss battles is actually a game of rock paper scissors. You would think the lag couldn’t possibly take effect here. You would be wrong. Now I understand that some people love that kind of challenge, but when the game isn’t fun beating your head against a wall makes it that much more unlikable.
Overall there is some likeable stuff here. Quirky characters, a pretty funny story from time to time, and the art design is actually pretty nice. Unfortunately this is a video game and when the game is almost unplayable nothing can save it. It gets a 3 out of 10.